Tuesday, March 18, 2014

My stop on the For Better or For Worse blog tour

When one story ends, another begins.
Evangeline lived a long fulfilling life. Loving mother and wife, she had everything she could wish for…until a tragic car accident took it all away from her.
Awakening in a new world with the body of a young woman, Evangeline doesn’t remember anything about her life, not even her own name. Luckily she has godparents to help guide her in this new society of the dead. As she struggles to fit in, deep inside, she can sense something is missing, a part of her that she can’t recall. When a mysterious man claims he can help get her memory back if she agrees to keep their nocturnal meetings a secret, she can’t refuse. Everything about him screams trouble, but she can’t seem to stay away. Every moment spent with him makes her feel alive again.
Is she really prepared to unveil her past completely, from beginning to end? Everything is not as it seems in her new found home, and her new life may also end in tragedy.
Rest in fear, Evangeline.

 

Excerpt:
"Everything's gonna be okay."
Everything is going to be okay. I should repeat it to myself like a broken record. Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay. Why does it seem like these words have lost all their meaning?
"I promise." He embraces my waist to push me closer to his warm chest.
"How is it going to be okay?" I shake my head, unable to restrain my tears from rolling down my burning cheeks. "How? He's dead!"
I bury my face into his collarbone to stifle my crying, listening to nothing else but the sound of his beating heart. I feel it pounding fast and hard, matching mine. It makes me cry even more. I don't want him to be strong for the both of us. That, too, isn't fair.
He puts his hand on the back of my head. "I'm so sorry."
I curl up against him and move my head slightly to glance at the dark ocean. This sandy beach is my favorite place on earth. This is where he kissed me for the first time. This is the place that always reminds me someone truly loves me, and sometimes it's just enough to chase the hurt. This is my haven.
At least it was, until now.
I ran to meet him here as soon as my little brother released my hand in his hospital bed. I knew he wouldn't force me to speak, and he didn't. He just held me close. It took the time of a wave dying in the vast ocean's arms for me to fall down in a faint, my legs quaking like an aspen leaf. His grip was so tight he fell to his knees, too, resolute not to abandon me in my rare moment of weakness.
It feels so good to be weak. I don't care if my face is washed with tears or if I have red rims around my eyes. I need this loss of myself. I need him and my haven.
"I'm sorry, Eve. So sorry." He sighs, clasping me tighter against him to calm me down. "I wish I could do something, anything to relieve your pain. I hate being so helpless," he hisses between clenched teeth. "It kills me."
I peek up at him, trying to find a light of hope, but I see nothing. Tonight, I'm more aware than anyone that love isn't possession. It doesn't stand still. My world can fly away in the blink of an eye, and there's absolutely nothing I can do to fight the ruthless, cold, and brutal wind that likes to come without calling.
"I…I just want…the world to disappear," I choke out between my sobs. The thick air is getting unbearable, harder to breathe. I press my hand against my breastbone. It hurts. It hurts too much. "I can't live anymore, I don't want to. Not like this. Please make it stop," I beg him. "Just make it stop. It hurts."
He holds my face in his hands to make sure I meet his serious gaze.
"Listen to me," he says slowly, scanning my face as he speaks. "I'm on your side. There are times when I wish I could escape this crazy world. But you know what? It'd be a terrible mistake to switch our life off if we get the chance."
I vaguely wipe my face with the back of my hand, lowering my gaze.
"Yes, you can be hurt and awfully bruised inside," he continues, gently tucking a stray lock of hair behind my ear. "Sometimes you get so scared to face the day you could suffocate. But I love you."
His last words take me by surprise. I know he does. I just didn't expect him to say them now.
"I love you," he says again, his voice catching ever so slightly. He strokes my face once more. "I don't want to switch my life off… because you are my life."
I feel paralyzed for a brief moment. It doesn't make any sense. Who am I supposed to thank for the love he's offering me? Are they the same odds that are against me tonight? Those who first harm me to bless me next?
I desperately love him. I do. So much. He's always been my hero, and logically speaking, a hero is supposed to be indestructible. He'll be here, until the end of time. I have to be sure of that. I want to be sure of that.
"He's gone." I shrug sadly, more tears falling out of my eyes. "He'll never be seventeen. I'll never get the chance to see him anymore. Never again…It's over." I try to put together in a wrecked breath, willing for more comfort.
"No, he's not. He's right here," he says, pointing at my hammering heart. "He's probably in a better world now."
I instinctively look up at the starry sky with a broken smile. I hope he is. He deserves to be.
"Eve." He tips my chin down to hold my gaze. "Maybe now is the time to share what's in your heart, too. There's no forever."
I quickly shake my head.
"Don't say that." I take a long, ragged breath. I really don't know how to breathe anymore. "We have time."
The disappointed light in his eyes is his only reply.
He bends down instead, and softly puts his lips close enough to touch mine. His hands travel up my cheeks and fondle my hair as he gives me a tender kiss. These are the ones I love the most. Our breath mingles together as I forget the world around us, and just like that, the ache begins to vanish little by little.
Not entirely, but just enough for the dizziness to take over so I may abandon myself in my most secured place.
His arms.
He knows I want to say those three words. I just need more time.


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